After listening to actor David Harewood on the BBC this morning I remember how:
In the mid 1990’s I found myself in such a place. Overwhelmed by all around, unable to concentrate on work, full of irrational worries, physically and mentally exhausted but unable to sleep, short tempered unpredictable behaviours towards my family and finally morbid thoughts about ending it all. I stood looking at rafters where I could hang myself, realised what I was thinking was perhaps not so horrid then as quickly that it was hideous.
The thing that prevented it all ending was taking that first step of telling someone. In this case my wife. I was fortunate to have a loving family around who cared about me and good professionals who understood my situation. I needed it because an acceptance of mental illness, in my case clinical depression added another pressure for me at that time internally as viewing myself as a failure. Weak, unable to cope.
I could reflect on all the things that happened since then, but I just want to say.
Don’t be afraid to tell someone you are afraid, they can see if your leg is broken …………………but not your brain.
Don Russell 14/05/2018